Alone and Aloof

Just a short thought, the rest I’ll keep to myself. Travelling alone, especially as a female, has its definite pros and cons. Which I feel are pretty much unavoidable and thus simply need to either be accepted and taken in stride, or just don’t travel. Aside from missing certain people, and being condemned to the solitude of my mind, I have to be somewhat careful where I go and who I talk to and how much I talk. I can’t really explore the night life so I really only get an idea of what the place is like during the day. I’m not staying in hostels so I don’t have a network source with other tourists, nor do I run into many during the day to buddy up with. I’ve gotten more used to it, being in a hotel alone doesn’t quite have the same emptiness that it used to, nor do long train rides feel as unproductively pointless and I can’t really tell if that’s a good or bad thing. It certainly helps make the travelling less exhausting but maybe I’m lowering my standards. Who knows. Doesn’t matter much I suppose. What has been good though is having to step up and take charge of every situation I’m in; I have to, I don’t have anyone else to fall back on. It is also a good practice for self-initiative; if I don’t get off my duff and go do the things I think would be cool to do, then it ain’t gonna happen; so, just do it.
I was sitting in a café today; inside, behind a floor to ceiling glass window and watching the people outside. From behind the glass wall, I saw friends sitting and talking in groups, groups of kids playing, husbands and wives walking…these people have their lives here. I’m just…here. This random, disconnected person who just happens to be here for a short period of time. This fact has been more accented this trip as I’ve been a TRUE tourist for the first time; doing the city to city thing, public transportation, public housing….all of that is relatively new for me. And somewhat unsatisfying. I feel more aloof, more like an invasive tourist, and less like I’m getting a real experience. But…maybe it’s just different. Who knows. Not complaining, just sayin’.