The lone muzungu

Well, we went to our last school on Wednesday, ran errands in Kampala on Thursday, and the entire group headed out yesterday (Friday). I leave Tuesday for Morocco. Yeesh, that went by fast. First getting here feels like a long time ago, but it doesn’t feel like I’ve been here a long time, which is weird since my life has been so mobile, I would have thought the feeling of staying put for this long would be especially noticeable. But nope. Maybe it’s because there was so little readjustment, maybe it’s because our days haven’t been as full as I was expecting (and would have liked).

Regardless, I am now a lone Muzungu.

It was the oddest experience, hopping out of the van as the group headed off to the airport, saying my thanks, and losing sight of the crowded faces as I pulled the sliding door shut. I turned my back to the main road and exhaled. This was it. I was on my own. It was just me, and Mukono. I hopped across a gorge and started walking up the side road to the house. I didn’t feel naked or bare or revealed as I was walking, I’ve walked these roads many times before alone. But I felt somehow as if the world around me was frozen and I was moving through it. I knew something everyone around me didn’t: my group was gone. And it was so odd, moving along that road, everyone working and no one noticing. Nothing had changed for them, life continued just as it had two minutes ago, but for me, everything had changed. Tumbling up Jinja road to Entebbe was a van full of Muzungu’s that had been my source of companionship, laughter, discussion, during the past three weeks. The professors who had randomly caught my attention in the hallway two years ago and since became my mentors and opened up an entirely new world to me were gone and I would probably never see them again since I won’t be at BYU in the fall. Gone, gone, gone.

I won’t be lonely. I refuse. There’s no point. But…I am. A bit. I certainly know plenty of people in the area so I’m obviously not entirely alone, but from about 8pm onward, its me, myself, and I. Which is fine, I’ve certainly got plenty of work to get done. And I’ve got plans for the next three days to keep me occupied, but…it’s not quite the same, ya know? I can go places and do stuff and have occasional contact with people, but I don’t have Rachel or Caleb to tag along and share the experience with. It will be interesting though, I think. I feel a lot more focused on being here now than I was previously and maybe that’ll open up some new insight. Check back in a few days!